How often do we set goals and fail to reach them? Whether it’s eating healthier, getting to the gym, or even keeping our closet floor free from clothes (… guilty!), doing what we say we want to do isn’t always easy.
Often, we’ll find ourselves starting off strong and then fizzling out mere days or weeks into our ‘new routine’.
Why? What makes sticking to our intentions so difficult?
It Starts with Integrity
I watched an interview with Chris and Heidi Powell last year that really stuck with me. In the video, they talked about the Power Promise.
They talked about personal integrity. Merrium-Webster defines integrity as “firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values,” but I love the way that Chris Powell broke it into a very simple phrase. “Integrity means you do what you say you’re going to do, when you say you’re going to do it, when no one else is watching.” He says that this integrity is the “secret sauce” of success, and that when we don’t follow through with what we say we are going to do, it’s actually a lack of integrity.
WOW. That hit me hard… and not in a good way…. at least, not at first.
Wait, What Did You Just Say?!
Originally, I felt a little attacked. “What did you just say to me?! Am I really not an integrous person?”
I’d always thought I had a lot of integrity. I want to be someone who people describe as having integrity. But of course, at various times in my life, I’ve said I was going to start doing something… and then didn’t. Or I did, but it didn’t stick. But, eventually, this hard truth of lacking self-integrity slapping me in the face has helped me to stick to a few of the goals I had been struggling with in the past.
Now, do I think that word or phrase alone will impact people the same way it impacted me? No. That would be silly! We are all different… there may be more people out there who are impacted the same way as I was with that phrase, but there will certainly be others who don’t find the same fuel from it. But this post is for people who DO need to hear it. So keep reading, because there’s a few more things I want to cover.
Work Your Muscles – Not Just the Physical Ones
Integrity and willpower are just like muscles. The more you exercise it, the stronger it gets. But, if you try to go ‘too hard’ or ‘too heavy’ with something right away, it actually damages it.
How many times have you set a grand goal, and then felt defeated when you didn’t reach it? Maybe you said you wanted to start working out five days a week, when previously you weren’t working out at all. Or maybe you wanted to read 10 books in a year, when before you were only reading one. When we set goals that are too lofty, we are setting ourselves up for failure. Not to mention, when we set goals that don’t have near-immediate feedback (e.g. it’s hard to say you’re on track for reading 10 books in a year when you’re only two days in) it’s easy to lose sight of the goal.
This leads me to the big reveal… what Chris and Heidi termed “The Power Promise”.
The Power Promise
What is it? It’s just a simple promise to yourself that you KNOW you can keep. It doesn’t need to be big, and it definitely shouldn’t be complicated. Maybe it is “I will eat one vegetable a day” or “I will drink one glass of water before work”. The example they gave is just promising yourself you’ll brush your teeth every day.
Why would we make such a simple promise to ourselves?
Because it gives us momentum. The more we check the box of doing what we say we are going to do, it builds our confidence. We start to see that we CAN hold ourselves accountable and do what we say we are going to do, and we can build upon it.
You might even find that you over-deliver on your promises. If your goal is to pick up one thing off your dirty floor every day, maybe you bend down and pick up two. Or maybe that gives you the motivation to pick up an entire room. But if it doesn’t? That’s OK – because you still picked up the one item you said you were going to, and that was all you promised for the day. Eventually, when you’re ready, you can ‘up’ that promise… but do it when you’re ready.
Are You Ready Yet?
If you’ve been having a hard time being ready, then you may want to consider working with a health coach. It’s a coach’s job to work with you in a non-judgmental way, help you connect with your deeper motivation, and break down your goals into small, achievable steps that help you climb your ladder to success.
